It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
If you're hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
Found a bunch of old shower caps in my house. Was gonna throw them out but realized they make excellent porta potties for long road trips.