I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say 'I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.' I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.

It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.

Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?

A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

The Comedy Store - all three rooms were filled with 800 people in the room. And during that time, all these guys and some women, but mostly guys who weren't funny were doing stand up for a living; they weren't accountants, they were making $30-$50 grand a year on the road, or more.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.