I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.

The secret to raising children is to love them... And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.

They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?

Full House was a show that was done for ten-year-olds. The critics hated it. They said terrible, terrible things about it. But it should have been reviewed by ten-year-olds. That's who it was made for. They loved it. And if they loved it, great. Why the hell does a fifty-year-old guy working at a big newspaper have to tell me I'm a piece of crap?

You can talk about things indirectly, but if you want to talk how people really talk, you have to talk R-rated. I mean I've got three incredibly intelligent daughters, but when you get mad, you get mad and you talk like people talk. When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they're not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it's cable.

My favorite Dylan song? I think it's 'Just Like a Woman.' It always makes me cry.

Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.