Oil is sixty dollars a barrel. There are terrorists everywhere. We have a catastrophe in our world every ten minutes. I don't know how anybody's getting through anything. Right now, people just need to be entertained.

A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

Everyone I love I pay.

I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don't want to make fun of people.

I like to approach every day like it's my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.

The other day my twelve-year-old says to me, I don't feel like I'm with you right now. You're in the car with me, you're checking your e-mail, you're not listening to me, I don't feel like I'm with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother's gripe, too. And she was right. And you're also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.

I think Desperate Housewives is a pretty good show, I watch it, I like it and I don't love reality tv that much. I do watch some, I've got three daughters so we'll watch the good stuff, the fun stuff.