My mom just told me it's impossible to know what's going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.

I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.

Around comics, I've always been known for, oh, that's not dirty, this is dirty.

I will always prefer a hardback book, but I'm drawn to digital because it's so easy to acquire them when I'm having a need-to-read moment.

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.

If 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,' how do you explain zombies?