If you don't wake up every day happy, change something.
Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
If 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,' how do you explain zombies?
It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.
Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.