Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.
Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
Ladies, apologies, but isn't 'vintage' just used stuff?
Everyone I love I pay.
Concerned we're in a time where politicians can't even fake sincerity. Aren't they supposed to be good at that?