When you're famous, you're always famous. It doesn't go away.

Aristotle said, Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Isn't that a three-way?

My haircutter figured out I whine less if I'm under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven't given me a Brazilian wax.

When you have a good time there is no time.

It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.

If 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,' how do you explain zombies?

Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.