My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.

A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.

I'm psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.

It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.

As time goes on, the more I value doctors and plumbers. Doctors a little more. I can fix my own toilet but I still can't operate on myself.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

My favorite Dylan song? I think it's 'Just Like a Woman.' It always makes me cry.