Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on - what will a family do out of desperation.

Words matter. Especially if you're kicking someone's ass in words with friends.

Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

If you go with Marshall McLuhan's theory that the medium is the message, as soon as you're hosting a blooper show, you're done.

I like to approach every day like it's my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.