Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on - what will a family do out of desperation.

Concerned we're in a time where politicians can't even fake sincerity. Aren't they supposed to be good at that?

No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, 'you don't mention that part here.' But that's what's interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.

There are no I's in we but there are two i's in Wii.

I like to approach every day like it's my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.