Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.

Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.

Around comics, I've always been known for, oh, that's not dirty, this is dirty.

I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.

My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them