I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.

People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.

I like to approach every day like it's my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.

I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don't want to make fun of people.

I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.

As time goes on, the more I value doctors and plumbers. Doctors a little more. I can fix my own toilet but I still can't operate on myself.