Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.

My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.

My haircutter figured out I whine less if I'm under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven't given me a Brazilian wax.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.

25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.

No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.

I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don't want to make fun of people.