Ladies, apologies, but isn't 'vintage' just used stuff?

All I've ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.

My wife is a saint. She's Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won't eat.

If you don't wake up every day happy, change something.

My mom just told me it's impossible to know what's going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.

The other day my twelve-year-old says to me, I don't feel like I'm with you right now. You're in the car with me, you're checking your e-mail, you're not listening to me, I don't feel like I'm with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother's gripe, too. And she was right. And you're also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.

My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.