The greatness of a man is only measured by his urologist.
There are no I's in we but there are two i's in Wii.
Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.
My haircutter figured out I whine less if I'm under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven't given me a Brazilian wax.
My favorite Dylan song? I think it's 'Just Like a Woman.' It always makes me cry.
My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?