One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was No hugs! Full House was all based on hugs.

My mom just told me it's impossible to know what's going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.

What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?

I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they're going to see it, especially her guy friends.

Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don't eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?

At the end of the day it's the end of the day.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.