One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was No hugs! Full House was all based on hugs.

Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?

I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say 'I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.' I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.

I like to approach every day like it's my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.

I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.

As time goes on, the more I value doctors and plumbers. Doctors a little more. I can fix my own toilet but I still can't operate on myself.

Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.