My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.

Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.

Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don't eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?

Ladies, apologies, but isn't 'vintage' just used stuff?

And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and... filled with stuffing.

I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.

If you're hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?