They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?

Nobody can tell me what I can or can't do, except they can.

A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, 'you don't mention that part here.' But that's what's interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.

I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.

I just did a play in New York which has been my best experience that Ive had for maybe ever. It was Paul Weitzs play called Privilege and I was in New York for three months.

It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.