What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz.

One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was No hugs! Full House was all based on hugs.

The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.

As time goes on, the more I value doctors and plumbers. Doctors a little more. I can fix my own toilet but I still can't operate on myself.

I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.

If you go with Marshall McLuhan's theory that the medium is the message, as soon as you're hosting a blooper show, you're done.

If 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,' how do you explain zombies?