I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don't want to make fun of people.

I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet.

Oil is sixty dollars a barrel. There are terrorists everywhere. We have a catastrophe in our world every ten minutes. I don't know how anybody's getting through anything. Right now, people just need to be entertained.

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.

I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.

Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.

It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.