I wouldn't hurt a flea. I'd finger a spider though.

I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, 'Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.' It literally was a drive-by. I photobombed the Full House house yesterday. I took like 20 pictures because I thought I didn't look good in any of these - you can't see the house! You gotta really show that that's the house!

There are no I's in we but there are two i's in Wii.

All I've ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.

My mom just told me it's impossible to know what's going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.

I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman's face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce....I thought he was missing.

I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts.