Found a bunch of old shower caps in my house. Was gonna throw them out but realized they make excellent porta potties for long road trips.

I'm fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.

Beautiful clear day in Beverly Hills. The sweet smell of Botox is in the air.

I wouldn't hurt a flea. I'd finger a spider though.

It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren't there that are alive.

It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.

I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.