What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone's ringing a lot more and I've got nine lines so when it doesn't ring, it's very frustrating.

The greatness of a man is only measured by his urologist.

Some dead people said smart stuff.

If 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,' how do you explain zombies?

Sometimes I wish I hadn't said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.