As time goes on, the more I value doctors and plumbers. Doctors a little more. I can fix my own toilet but I still can't operate on myself.

At the end of the day it's the end of the day.

I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say 'I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.' I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.

I don't like to drink alone 'cause there's nobody to fight with.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.

A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

I become a chameleon for wherever I am.