You have the strength to push back against what others are making you think or do. You use that muscle of confidence. In the same way, joy is from the inside out, and not letting the things on the outside define you.
Bonnie St. JohnMy definition of confidence is how you feel about yourself, and not letting the external world define you.
Bonnie St. JohnI spent a good portion of my life being unable to honor my feelings. When I started the process of having real friendships it was a huge change. I still struggle with it because it is not familiar ground.
Bonnie St. JohnWe don't always get everything. And sometimes we worry too much about our circumstances. We think oh I'll be happy when I get my job back, or I'll be happy when I get a man back, but it's really about allowing God to give us joy now.
Bonnie St. JohnFriends are people who are in your life because you feel good around them and you like them. Friends are the people you choose to be with.
Bonnie St. JohnWe are all drawn to problems and solving problems. Joy doesn't demand our time. So we have to mark that time on our schedules. That's the only way you are going to get it. Five minutes, three times a day in your schedule. That's doable.
Bonnie St. JohnI realized that I spent more time thinking about my problem clients than my great clients. I had to stop feeding the drama of the problem clients-and other problems in my life.
Bonnie St. JohnI spent so much of my life shut down from the abuse of my childhood. I didn't have friends and I didn't have connections with people.
Bonnie St. JohnI was always interested in how to be more joyful. This goes all the way back to elemenatary school. I looked at what was going on around me and I wanted something better. Because my mother had so many ups and downs, I watned to know how to be "up" more often.
Bonnie St. JohnBecause I am a one-legged, black, short, woman I had to spend every day of my life pushing against what society told me I should be. I had to sell my value every day of my life. Confidence is what enables us to push back on reality. Once you get good at that, you can use it to live your joy.
Bonnie St. JohnI do a lot of to-dos and a lot of lists. I realized I had to make room for joy. So I added "to feel" items on my to-do list. That's something you can easily do.
Bonnie St. JohnI was ahead in the slalom. But in the second run, everyone fell on a dangerous spot. I was beaten by a woman that got up faster than I did. I learned that people fall down, winners get up, and gold medal winners just get up faster.
Bonnie St. JohnPeople are going through tough times. I want to say to them, "Live your joy." I know I can tell them that because I went through a lot of hard times. I had a choice of either succumbing to the hard times or figuring it out.
Bonnie St. John