Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.

I grew up in the projects and I know how important it is for kids to have hope.

My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.

I'm a spiritual person, I believe that if you read the bible, you get what you want from it. But, when you actually read it, you see the beauty, spirituality, the joy and love and what makes us godly. And then if you read between the lines of all the same books, you always see the human influence in the writing... it's not all about religiousness, it's about spirituality.

Hurricane Katrina was caused by political correctness. I said it!

If you're Filipino, you're the beaner of the Asian community 'cause you're just like us. You're indigenous people that got banged by some Spaniards. That's why you have names like Kwan Ping Del Toro.