I always say to women, 'Take advantage of the fact that you're in the minority, don't see it as a disadvantage. You're that much more unique when there's fewer of you.

I never thought I was going to have children. I just thought after 45, that was it.

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

I was watching Maury Povich the other day. He had these people on who say that they've had near death experiences. Do you ever notice they always say the same thing? 'I remember seeing this really bright, white light.' It's like, of course, you pinhead, it's the paramedic looking in your pupils with a penlight.

Women in the workplace - we still have big strides to make. Girlfriend of mine just got a new job. First question the new boss asked her was if she could make a good cup of coffee... Yeah, she stormed right out of that Starbucks.

I don't exercise. My philosophy is: No pain, no pain.

Sex when you're married is like going to the 7-Eleven: There's not much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always there.