In a statement to the Associated Press earlier in the year, Jamie Lynn said she didn’t have a boyfriend. She said, ‘I’m keeping my options open.’ And by options, she meant legs.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?

They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.

I'd like to go out for a cocktail... or seven.

Then they have the audacity to go shopping and pick out their own gifts. I want to know who the first person was who said this was okay. After spending all that money on a bachelorette weekend, a shower, and often a flight across the country, they expect you to go to Williams Sonoma or Pottery Barn and do research? Then they send you a thank-you note applauding you for such a thoughtful gift. They're the one who picked it out!

I hate when men think that money is gonna buy you happiness... I mean, it helps.