I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.

If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.

If you have to work at McDonald's, good for you. But on a side note, good luck with the rest of your life.

I hate that people assume guys are the only ones to want sex. Girls want sex, too, and that shouldn't be a problem.

If you get into a customer service fight with a hooker, even if you're in the right, you're in the wrong.

My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.

It's a pleasure to play my sister because everything I've accused her of my whole life, I can now re-enact before her eyes.