You don't give something away because it's fat. You take it and you look at it.

There's tons of information on the Internet, so if you type in cancer, they'll give you 15, 000 different options to get involved with cancer. It's very easy to get involved if you want to get involved, especially to volunteer your time.

If you get into a customer service fight with a hooker, even if you're in the right, you're in the wrong.

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything

I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.

Our relationship finally ended when he took to waking me up in the wee hours o the morning when he would go surfing. He thought it might be fun to have me come watch. "Fun for who?" I wanted to ask. i had never asked him to come to Happy Hour and watch me drink.