You don't give something away because it's fat. You take it and you look at it.

I wish it was that easy to get turned on for me - at this point, I need a bottle of Belevere and a fighterjet.

Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.

Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing nothing but gold paint. That’s a unique way to cover up herpes.

If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?

The only thing worse than dating a single mom is dating a single mom that won't put out.

The L. A. Times is reporting that Britney Spears' album Blackout will be number one on the Billboard charts. Not to toot my horn, but I predicted this on my show a week ago. No one wanted to believe me - even I didn't want to believe me, but now I know how Nostradamus feels.