I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

How do you think jail was?! I got face raped by a woman... and I think I may have liked it.

I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run into Paris Hilton and she's like, Oh, I love your show. And I'm like, You can't love my show if you can hear.

I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.

I understand that if you're a kid in Indonesia, you need to smoke because you just got off work at the Nike factory.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.