You want to do something a little bit meaningful, because we're not saving the planet or anything, but we want to contribute in a positive way, in a way that makes a difference or makes somebody feel something.
Chelsea HandlerKiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.
Chelsea HandlerWhy he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.
Chelsea Handler