He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.

I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.

I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.

No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.

Women don't have to be jealous of other women.

If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?

If you get into a customer service fight with a hooker, even if you're in the right, you're in the wrong.