I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.

If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.

It's hard on an all-gay softball team because no one knows if they want to be a pitcher or a catcher.

A lot of people think that keying a car isn't the right way to get back at a guy. I disagree.

I would never get married while my father is still alive because I wouldn't want him to walk me down the aisle.

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it.