Having a baby, it's like a five year commitment.

My feeling is, if a dog is that hard up to break free, let it go. It's like a boyfriend who wants to break up. We all know the old adage "If you set someone free, and he never comes back, then he was never yours." I understand the main fear with setting dogs loose is they could get hit by a car, but so could an ex boyfriend. That's just a chance you have to take.

It always freaks me out when I go to a sushi place and there's a Mexican.

Reality TV's pretty tricky for me. I don't really watch anything like that, because I think it's brain-sucking.

Along with the 97 percent of women who can see, I have never been a fan of redheaded men.

Nothing is more American than stuffing your face with loaded potato skins while drinking loaded mudslides.

Whoever calls and asks me to do stuff and obviously, with having your own TV show, people want you to get involved. They know you're a stand-up comedian so they're always looking for somebody funny to host an event.