Men donโt realize that if weโre sleeping with them on the first date, weโre probably not interested in seeing them again either.
Chelsea HandlerMy mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.
Chelsea HandlerIt's a pleasure to play my sister because everything I've accused her of my whole life, I can now re-enact before her eyes.
Chelsea HandlerIf you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.
Chelsea Handler