How do you think jail was?! I got face raped by a woman... and I think I may have liked it.

Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.

A lot of people think that keying a car isn't the right way to get back at a guy. I disagree.

I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people.

I have more respect for somebody who's like, 'Yeah I like to party, so screw off,' then for Tara , who talks about not partying and ends up passed out underneath a Subway, not a subway station, but the actual sandwich shop - two days later.

I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.

People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50.