What about your constitutional right to bear arms, you say. I would simply point out that you don’t have to exercise a constitutional right just because you have it. You have the constitutional right to run for president of the United States, but most people have too much sense to insist on exercising it.

I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything

I tried to put myself up for adoption several times.

I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.

Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.

But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.

The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.