You don't mess with janitors, first of all, they have like 40 keys, and 1 is to a closet you don't want to be inside of.

If you wait too long in Vegas, you end up with a chicken finger in your underwear.

Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?

Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon just got themselves a marriage license. I think before she gets married again Pam needs to slow down and think about whether this is really the man she wants to spend three or four months of her life with.

We women have to stick together.

Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.

Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.