You don't mess with janitors, first of all, they have like 40 keys, and 1 is to a closet you don't want to be inside of.

I was so frivolous for so many years. It was so much fun, but you feel guilty about the brain energy you use to think about whether some celebrity was sleeping with another celebrity. The conjecture that goes along with that. You feel like your mind has been shot apart.

I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.

I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.

I don't want to be Oprah [Winfrey], I'm not trying to be Barbara Walters, but we can all do better.

Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed to the other with a nurse's hat on while your father, who is also naked, is chasing her with a bandanna around his neck, is reason to put yourself up for adoption.

It's hard to tell these days what gender people are. You don't know if they're gay, if they're straight, or Bruce Jenner.