You don't mess with janitors, first of all, they have like 40 keys, and 1 is to a closet you don't want to be inside of.

I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?

I don't want to be Oprah [Winfrey], I'm not trying to be Barbara Walters, but we can all do better.

People tend to call me names that I can't repeat on basic cable. I will give you a hint. They rhyme with itch, hunt, & bore.

I want to start saying bad words all the time!

It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.

I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters