Why would you go out and not drink? Just stay home and sit there.

I don't like people who drink decaf coffee it's like what. Why you drinking it? Like it taste so good? That's like drinking non alcoholic vodka.

I don't like people who have babies and act like they did something that the rest of us can't figure out. Anybody can have one, OK? I could have had three if I had gone through with any of my pregnancies.

Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.

I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.

George Clooney and Fabio apparently got into a scuffle at a restaurant in Los Angeles over the weekend. George thought the women with Fabio were taking pictures of him. How embarrassed is George Clooney to be in a fight with Fabio? Who is he going to call out next, Lorenzo Lamas?

If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?