I was a fitness fiasco - until I found Pilates . . . It's been the most gentle on my body I'm longer and leaner and much more graceful. I can honestly say it's changed my body - and my life.

I have no idea why gay men love me, but I would have to assume it's because they know how much I love the gays! Everyone needs a good gay man in their life.

People always tell me I need to have a kid, and I say, No, I don't. Because I wouldn't have just one kid; I'd have six. I need a huge family. So I just kind of fill my house with tons of rejects and misfits so it feels like I have a bunch of children.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

I hate when men think that money is gonna buy you happiness... I mean, it helps.

It's hard on an all-gay softball team because no one knows if they want to be a pitcher or a catcher.

If you judge a person by the company they keep, then I'm retarded.