Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.

I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything

Mexico's a great place to overcome a drug addiction.

I'd like to go out for a cocktail... or seven.

Next to fat babies, midgets are my favorite things to hold. I love them so much, and I want to help them to do adult things like drive cars, Jet-Ski, and lip-synch. I’m in awe of their little limbs, their large craniums, and their medicine-ball asses. I love the little baby steps they take while shifting their weight from side to side, and the fact that when you knock one over accidentally, he flails like a turtle on its back that can’t get up right away.

The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.

I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.