Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.

First of all, who cares if people hate you? There's always a guarantee that certain people will dislike you. There's never any guarantee that anyone will like you. So if anyone likes you at all, you've already won.

I hate that people assume guys are the only ones to want sex. Girls want sex, too, and that shouldn't be a problem.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.

... some of the best sex I can barely remember.

I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing.