Who's the president on the $100 bill? I don't know. I don't need to know because I don't use cash. I only use travelers checks.
Chelsea HandlerPeople always tell me I need to have a kid, and I say, No, I don't. Because I wouldn't have just one kid; I'd have six. I need a huge family. So I just kind of fill my house with tons of rejects and misfits so it feels like I have a bunch of children.
Chelsea HandlerAngelina Jolieโs older brother James Haven, the one she made out with, has a license plate on his SUV that reads Shiloh. Maybe itโs not that weird. After all, he could be the father.
Chelsea HandlerIt's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is truly a loyal friend, then they wouldn't need to broadcast it; eventually, people will figure it out. I have a lot of good friends and not one of them has ever introduced themselves by saying, 'I'm a very good friend.'
Chelsea Handler