My father has a high opinion of his opinion

It's hard on an all-gay softball team because no one knows if they want to be a pitcher or a catcher.

You get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case.

I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.

Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.

When you have a vision, you have to see it through, and you can make anything happen. You really can, especially in this [entertainment ] industry.

Tara Reid is charging $3,500 for a personal appearance fee. So, for only $3,500 you can either buy a 1998 Jetta with 130,000 miles on it... or Tara Reid, who only has 98,000 miles on her.