I was so frivolous for so many years. It was so much fun, but you feel guilty about the brain energy you use to think about whether some celebrity was sleeping with another celebrity. The conjecture that goes along with that. You feel like your mind has been shot apart.

I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.

I'd like to go out for a cocktail... or seven.

Vomit and feces are two reason I have decided not to procreate.

What about your constitutional right to bear arms, you say. I would simply point out that you don’t have to exercise a constitutional right just because you have it. You have the constitutional right to run for president of the United States, but most people have too much sense to insist on exercising it.

I met my first midget in Mexico, and he was a waiter with a sombrero on his head, filled with chips and salsa. Like I was gonna let that guy get away - I don't think so.

The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.