I'm not going to blow up just for the sake of it, because it's on TV. That's not the issue.

I don't think the problem is telling people you're on a diet. The problem is eating ice cream for breakfast.

When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?

Nothing is more American than stuffing your face with loaded potato skins while drinking loaded mudslides.

According to Life & Style Weekly, 50 Cent may be working on Lindsay Lohan's next album. Finally, a match made in rap heaven. He's a convicted drug dealer who's been shot nine times, and she spent 84 minutes in prison. This is a big step for Lindsay. The last time Lindsay got near a black guy she ran over his foot.

Vomit and feces are two reason I have decided not to procreate.

The challenge is to keep it fresh. If you're talking about Britney Spears over and over, it's very hard to keep that interesting.