For months there have been rumors that J.Lo is finally pregnant with Marc Anthony's baby. She was afraid it might never happen. I'm afraid it's going to look like Marc Anthony.

There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.

Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.

That's Al Qaeda's new plan: to destroy America one period at a time.

It's hard to tell these days what gender people are. You don't know if they're gay, if they're straight, or Bruce Jenner.

You know what they say, when one door closes, another Belvedere opens.

A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.