I guess I look so straight and normal nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.

The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.

Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem.

My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.

What makes a home home? Animals, and a little bit of clutter.

I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.