I guess I look so straight and normal nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.

Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.