How much do I owe you?

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons and where everyone their age wasn't trying to get into movies.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish

Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.

I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.

Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.

I guess I look so straight and normal nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.