Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.