You just got to be really logical when you're a comedian - to a fault. Like a lawyer's got to believe in the law.

You can't have anything valuable in your house. Niggers will break in and take it all! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people don't like about black people. It's like our own personal civil war. On one side, there's black people. On the other, you've got niggers. The niggers have got to go. I love black people, but I hate niggers. I am tired of niggers. Tired, tired, tired.

I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam and Charlie Rose. And do well on both.

If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.

If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.

George Bush hates midgets.