If you told me two years I would miss the greatest basketball game ever to hang out with Nathan Lane, I'd say, 'You're crazy!'

Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year, and the coldest-just in case we want to have a parade

If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.

They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.

No, I want big ol' titties in my face!

A black Christian is like a black person with no memory.

My mother always says: "You know better, so you'll be punished. Your friends don't know better, so they won't be punished. They can go snatch chains and they'll be fine. But if you snatch chains, you'll end up in jail because you know better."